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| The Sailor's Yarn Once upon a time there was a forum for users to post their own stories... |
George The Noob and the Quest for the Lost Burrito
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#106
03-18-2011, 04:23 PM
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Nice work Pibby! And yes, you are forgiven
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#107
03-21-2011, 05:54 AM
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Here is the next chapter!
The Vision George felt like he was floating through nothingness. Around him was, well, nothing. It was emptiness, like his head, with random colors appearing and disappearing. All of the sudden, he started hearing voices. "I personally think George's idea is great..." Banana's voice said, in an echoing tone. "WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE TO BE MINDLESS FOOLS?!" Britney's voice screamed. "Yes, I'll have the ham sandwich ma'am," George's Great-Uncle Ploopy said. Before George could start to wonder why Great-Uncle Ploopy was in his dream, a more powerful voice spoke. It was deep, and powerful, and had a sort of an accent. George was too stupid to tell where it was from though. "O Noobish One," the voice boomed. "You have come far." "I just founded a burrito and eated it..." George said worried. "Did I do sometin badz?" "....no..." the voice said. "O Noobish One, I am Pablo, the spirit of The Lost Burrito." "So you iz edible?!" George screamed with delight. "Where arez you?! I wanna nom nom nom on youz!" "SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!" Pablo bellowed. "Err, where was I? Ah yes! George, there are evil forces trying to come after me. The forces of Jolly Roger!" "OMGZZZ! Not the evil pirate flag thingamabober!" "No you twit! Jolly Roger, leader of the undead army! Bahh, why did I need to pick this guy to help me? Oh well, too late now. I must give you the location of myself so you can find me and keep me safe from Jolly Roger." "waitz just a minutezerz!" George said, holding up his arms. Then he remembered that he wasn't really there, and it was just his mind. He had no arms. "what would tehh bonehead thing want with a mexican food?" "George, I posses great power. If Jolly Roger gets his hands... mouth? Oh well, if he gets to me, then he can harness my power and destroy the Caribbean! You must find me, and then keep me safe from Jolly Roger! Otherwise we may all be doomed!" "mmmk, whats in it for me?" George asked stupidly. "Err... well, I suppose if you get me, you can harness my power, and you can become the toughest noob to sail the seas. I suppose you can't do too much with my power, but if it gets into the hands (mouth?) of evil, all is lost!" "well how iz i gonna find u?" George asked. "I'll have to tell you this riddle," Pablo said. "Ahem... Go, to the island with cliffs so great, With the red ghosts so filled with hate. Fight your way through bats and the raven, To find the Lost Burrito's guarded haven. "Wut?" "DAMN IT!" Pablo yelled in frustration. "I'm hidden on Raven's Cove! Way to ruin the epicness..." "mmmk, so I go to teh Cove with the crows..." "...Ravens..." Pablo corrected. George didn't notice. "And then I look around for a tasty snack?" "...sure..." "OKAYZERZ! Now lemme outta here pweeze." George said triumphantly. "Anything to get you out of here... just remember! You haven't much time! Get to Raven's Cove before Jolly Roger does! His army is searching for my whereabouts! Its not long before they discover my location and find me!" "k, lemme out." "Fine, fine," Pablo muttered. George heard a sound like fingers snapping, and then suddenly George awoke to the sound of wasps buzzing. ----------------------------------------- Sorry if that wasn't too funny. Just needed to put that chapter in to move the story along. Pweeze leave comments! |
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#108
03-21-2011, 06:03 AM
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Not funny? What are you talking about... that was great!
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#109
03-21-2011, 04:56 PM
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#111
03-21-2011, 08:45 PM
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Good way to move the story, while being hysterical.
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#112
04-09-2011, 06:53 AM
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Alright, it is time for the conclusion of possibly the most epic noob story in POF history. (probably the ONLY noob story in POF history) Enjoy!
Teh Beginning of teh Endz George sat up. He was still lying behind the waterfall, the messenger burrito in his hand. He rubbed his noobish head. His hair was wet from the mist the waterfall threw off. His clothes were slightly damp. "Dat waz kool." He mumbled to himself. He was about to take another bite out of the burrito, but a voice told him not to. Instead he chucked the edible voicemail into pond. He chuckled to himself. Soon it turned into a maniacal cackle. He stopped when he heard the noise. That noise. The one that had hurt him. "TEH BAD BUGGIEZ." He said, his eyes wide with fear. He started running. Or more like flopping around, slipping on all the wet surfaces. He did something that looked like the worm, rolled a couple yards, slid ten feet on his face, and fell dwon onto the soft grass. He brushed the sand and vegetation off before jogging off to find his crew. He found the open area where the group had stopped before. There was the rock that Britney had bled all over. There were those trees he had wandered off into. He stood there, staring at the two directions, wondering where his friends went. Yea, he stood there for 10 minutes man. With only two paths. The one he went, and another one with thicker tree. Finally, he decided to go searching the thicker jungle. He passed some pretty threating looking creatures, really tall trees, and several piles of some sort of poop. Just then he heard voices. Voices that were yelling his name. He thought (?) that it was just the after effects of the burrito. But then, sure enough, through the brush comes a small ladybug. And it spoke. "George you moron! Where the hell have you been?!" Anton blurted in a panicked tone. A young woman poked her head through the bushes and her face lit up immediately. "GEORGE!" Banana screamed, running towards him before tackle-hugging him. George looked like he was about to faint. Brandy came around the corner, barely supporting Britney as he stumbled along drunk. "Uh... whoaz? That waz like, awsum." George said, rather clueless. He looked at his small crew. Everyone, was smiling at him. Even Britney, the legless jerk, managed a small smile. George decided that these WERE his friends. He knew they would get the burrito. Sounds like ole' George is learning lessons, eh? Maybe getting smarter. But that's a little TOO far, ya know? "Letz go an find dat burro." George said flatly. "Burrito." Anton corrected him. "Shutz up. U iz ruin teh moment." ~~~~~ The team followed each other out the jungle to where the 'battle' with the giant crab took place. There were large dents in the ground where the large sea creature had scuttled around. They all walked to the skiff that would take them back to their weak (okay, VERY, VERY, weak) ship. They pulled up next to the Barnicle Brig, and climbed aboard. Brandy, of course, almost slipped back into the water. As they set sail, everyone seemed way more confident. Everyone knew they could do this. But then the ship showed up. ~~~~~ It was a dark, moldy green, with tattered sails, and holes in its hull that should have sunk it. It was followed by a massive green fog. George laughed at the funny looking ship. Everyone else's face was ghostly white. "Oh great lord save me now." Anton said, almost choking on his last few words. "The Harkaway." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yes, yes, it does seem like I might be copying Davy. But do not worry! He actually helped me come up with the conclusion. ANYWHO, please comment and give predictions! I want you guys to guess what's going to happen next  Farewell, and have a good night!
Last edited by pieisbetter2; 04-09-2011 at 11:14 PM.. Reason: oops. typoz |
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#113
04-09-2011, 07:26 AM
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Since it was late, I had to try not to laugh too loud. It was kinda hard hehe. T'was good... I'll do the next chapter.
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#114
04-09-2011, 01:21 PM
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That was good mate!
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#116
04-09-2011, 07:32 PM
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Another fine chapter, nice job Pibby.
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#117
04-23-2011, 05:04 AM
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Total Pwnage "Dat ship is a piece of junk!" George exclaimed, pointing at The Harkaway. "It iz all rotten n stuffz." "Quit insulting her!" Britney screamed. "Its the ship of JOLLY ROGER! HE'LL KILL US ALL!" "I wantz a Jolly Rancher!" George said excitedly, licking his lips. "DAMN IT YOU IDIOT!" Anton said, punching George and knocking him to the floor of The Barnacle Brig. "FLEE! FLEE! SAIL FOR OUR LIVES! WE CAN'T TAKE ON JOLLY ROGER!" "Ready teh gunz!" George ordered. "At least I'll be put out of my misery..." Britney muttered, walking to a cannon. The crew reluctantly went to the cannons. After all, they couldn't outrun The Harkaway. She was too fast. The two ships closed in on each other. George was really excited. He was about to sink Jolly Rancher! He would be a legend forever. The crew of The Barnacle Brig was terrified, but they knew that running would just end in their demise. Closer and closer, the two ships got. And soon... "FIRE TEHH BOREDSIDES!" George yelled. The three pathetic cannons of The Brig fired, and the cannonballs flew toward The Harkaway at less than a good speed (what else do you expect from this floating pile of poop?). George watched excitedly as the Cannonballs flew right at the enemy ship. They hit! And then they bounced off the hull without leaving a dent. There was complete silence aboard The Barnacle Brig for a moment as they looked at The Harkaway floating before them, undamaged by the broadside. George's mouth was open so wide that you could probably stuff a watermelon inside of it. "Uhh..." Anton muttered. "AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Britney screamed at the top of his lungs. He ran around the deck, screaming and tripping and knocking things over. He eventually ran into the mast and slammed his head, falling to the floor. After a few seconds, he got up and started screaming again, before jumping into the water and swimming as far away from the two ships as he could. The crew of The Brig stared at the figure of Britney swimming away in the darkness and fog, until they heard the sound of cannons being loaded. They turned in fear towards The Harkaway. The broadside cannons now were poking out of the side of her hull, aimed directly at The Barnacle Brig. Brandy and Banana gave each other a quick glance, and in a second they were following Britney. Anton started flying after them. But of course, George stayed behind. "Oh crudzerz..." George muttered, before the guns fired directly at The Brig. George shut his eyes, screamed and covered his heads as the cannonballs landed on the hull of The Brig. Wood flew everywhere, the mast toppled over into the sea, and gunpowder barrels beneath George exploded, blowing the ship into hundreds of pieces, and sending George flying up about thirty feet in the air. George opened his eyes and looked down, to see a mess of planks and broken ship parts in the place where his not-so-majestic ship once was. He then realized that he was thirty feet in the air. "Ahh! I hatez tehh heights!" George screamed. He tried to flap his arms and fly, but he was too fat, and he belly flopped into the sea. He floated up to the surface of the ocean, screaming in pain from the flop. After a few minutes of screaming, he weakly grabbed onto a floating piece of The Barnacle Brig and looked back at The Harkaway. He could see a little dingy coming from it towards him, filled with skeletons. That was the last thing he saw before going unconscious. ~~~~~~~~~~ George awoke on the floor, weak and in pain. The floor beneath him was made of moldy and rotten planks, as were the walls and ceiling. Around him were rusted up bars, enclosing him in a jail cell. Even with his noobish mind, he was able to figure that he was on The Harkaway. He weakly sat up, groaning from the pain. He noticed that his Lost Sword and other weapons were gone, taken by the skeletons that probably picked him up. He looked around him, and saw that his friends had been picked up. Anton was trapped in a little bottle, sitting on a table. Britney was sitting in the corner of his cell, rocking back and forth, arms wrapped around his legs. Banana sat on a broken bench in her cell, with a defeated expression on her face. She saw George looking at her, and gave him a weak smile. Her clothes were tattered, and she had bloodshot eyes. George looked away to see Brandy laid sprawled out on the floor, with a bloody gash in his forehead. For once, he was without a bottle of some sort of drink. George took note of this. Probably too much note. "BRANDY! YOU NEEDZ YOUR DRINK!  " he screamed. Everyone in the room immediately jumped up in shock from the loud noise, and the crew of The Brig stared at George. They heard the sound of a loud curse from outside. "GEORGE YOU IDIOT!" Britney yelled. "WHY I OUTTA---" Britney was silenced by the sound of a door opening. Everyone went silent and fearfully turned to the open door. A large skeleton walked in. He was wearing a large, captainy looking hat. On one of his hands was a strange device that looked like a combination between a sword and a pistol. One of his legs was something that looked like a donkey hoof. "you!" George said, running up to the bars of his cage. "i demandeth to speak 2 your captin! teh living places here are icky, and you sunk meh ship! LET MEH TALK TO TEH CAPTAIN OR I WILL KILL YOU!" The skeleton spat towards George and approached his cell. George scrambled back in fear, remembering how much he was afraid of skeletons. The skeleton examined George before laughing so hard that it looked like he would cry. He soon ceased his laughing, and spoke. "You want the captain, eh? Well foolish one, yer lookin' at him." ------------------------------------- There's your chapter mates! |
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#118
04-23-2011, 05:38 AM
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Lol, very nice, Davy!
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#119
04-23-2011, 02:10 PM
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Nice Davy!!
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Best part! |
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