George The Noob and the Quest for the Lost Burrito

[pieisbetter2]

LULZ. George is stupid .

I'll try and get the next chapter out sometime soon.

[Robert Ironcastle]

Originally Posted by pieisbetter2

LULZ. George is stupid

Iz wuld neva guest dat deyz.
For serious tho,fantastic funny story.

[pieisbetter2]

Stoopid Skeletimz

"Ha! W-wut kinda captain iz u?!" George said, stammering on his words. He was trying to be brave. It wasn't really working. Jolly Roger grabbed the door on his rusty jail cell and ripped it off as if he were tearing paper from a note-pad. He grabbed George around the throat with his bony hand, and lifted him up and stared into his eyes. The two were face-to-face.

"Excuse me?" Jolly asked.

"EWW. Tic-tac? U haz bad breathz." George complained, straining to keep his nose away from the source of the smell. Jolly Roger tightened his grip.

"Because of who I am, I have not eaten in ages." He whispered into George's ear. He dropped him and kicked him in the ribs. The two guard skeletons dragged George, who was gasping for air, back into his cell. They didn't bother put the door back on. They were sure George learned his lesson.

"Does anyone else care to hear WHY I'm such a horrible beast?!? HUH?!" Jolly was furious. He grabbed one of the guards and smashed it's skull on the wall. rotten bone shards flew everywhere. The headless undead stumbled around aimlessly. Almost as aimlessly as drunk old Brandy. ALMOST.

As Roger slammed the door to the brig, George was hyperventilating while trying to get air into his lungs. Everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~

When George awoke, the cells were empty. There was still that one guard skeleton. He saw George wake up.

"Stand up you fool!" He commanded. He had a strong French accent. George, still slightly groggy, followed instructions, for once. He waddled forward before the French guy grabbed his elbow and guided him forward.

"Uh.... yo French ded guy. Wus ur name?" George questioned him. The skeleton gave him a weird look.

"Tim. Now no more questions!" George took note of how much shorter Tim was.

"I'm gonna call u Skeletim, cuz u iz undead, and u iz named Tim."

"I said no more!"

"U say no more questionz. Dat was no question....." George said. WAIT WAIT WAIT. George made someone ELSE look like an idiot?! Dang, I gotta get my hands on some of this idiotic logic.

Tim shoved him. He was pretty strong for being about four and a half feet tall. After George tasted the floor, he decided it would be good not to say things like that again. Tim continued to guide him. The eventually came to some deck level. The rest of the crew were cleaning port holes. Brandy, who had a bandage wrapped around his forehead, was still drunk as could be. Instead of cleaning the port hole, he was scrubbing the wall right next to it. Banana poked him with her elbow and whispered something. Brandy stopped for a moment. He then proceeded to wash the other side of the wall. Banana shook her head and finished off her small window.

George walked over, picked up a sponge, dipped it in the semi-clean water, and started scrubbing the window that Brandy failed to cleanse. George looked around. Everyone had messy hair and dirty, tattered clothes.

"PSST! George!" Banana whispered, urgently.

"Wut.....?" George asked, extending the length of his speech.

"We need to get off this boat NOW."

"But Tim over dere," he said, pointing to the shorty, "won't even letz meh talk n stuf. An we no haz Anton, so we gunna phail if we try."

"Jolly didn't let Anton out of his bottle. He knew that he could take down half of his crew if he did. So he's up in the Captain's Quarters."

"Well dat iz sucky."

"Yea, so now we're stuck down here watching Brandy wash the same wall for hours, and Britney poke at the spot where his leg used to be."

"Oh ya, dat gotta be inconvenient." George said this a little louder then he meant to.

"HEY! SHUT UP!" Tim yelled at the two. They turned back to the port holes and scrubbed.

"Stoopid Skeletimz...." George muttered to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOOT. New chapter Sorry for the delay ._______. ANYWHO, I apologize if it wasn't as funny :/ Trying to get more story in :P

[The Stealthy Pirate]

Epic Chapter mate!!!

[Captain Sharktooth]

Originally Posted by pieisbetter2

I'm gonna call u Skeletim, cuz u iz undead, and u iz named Tim."

Lol, I loved that part.

[Crestshot]

Skeletim skeletim skeletim skeletim... I like it. I'll be using that in everyday conversation now! ....somehow........

[Dark_Pixie]

I like the story! I'm currently writing a comedy about a noob and a high level who get transported to Pixie Hollow. I'll post it on the forums when I finish the first chapter. Probably not going to be as good as yours though.

[Bluepengie]

LOL Ive been lurking and reading this whole time and u didnt know!

GREAT Story guyz. I'm looking forward to teh next chapterz

[Robert Ironcastle]

Originally Posted by pieisbetter2

WAIT WAIT WAIT. George made someone ELSE look like an idiot?! Dang, I gotta get my hands on some of this idiotic logic.

I fell off my chair in shock.LULZ.

[Bluepengie]

Davy? Next chapter anytime soon?

[Tiberius Fireskull]

Yeah, sorry guys. I've been really busy lately. Earlier this month I had finals and all that good stuff, and now I'm busy with other things. I'll see if I can get a chapter done sometime this week.

[pieisbetter2]

Hey guys, I'll have the next chapter out by AT LEAST Wednesday. If I forget, Davy will probably send me a PM along the lines of "GTN NAO. GO BOI. GOOOOOOOOO." So yea, I'll get it out :P

[James Sunsteel]

Nice Story, Davy.

[pieisbetter2]

And again, it is time for another epic chapter!

P.S. James. It's both Davy and I's story. But I started it :P

Teh Interview

Jolly came down the stairs slowly. The noise of his donkey leg stirred George.

"omg!!!!! HORSEY!!" George shouted with glee. Jolly reached the bottom of the stairs, turned to George, and slapped him with the back of his meatless hand. George collapsed on the spot. His fingers twitched.

"Pick up that greasy 'human' and bring him along, Tim." Jolly said, nudging the motionless George with his foot. Jolly walked back up the stairs with his hands behind his back. He shouted from the top, " And bring the others along too!"

"Yes Captain!" Tim yelled back. He collected everyone and led them up front while he threw George over his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim guided them to the Captain's Quarters. Poor Banana had to support the weight of two people. Brandy was still drunk as to be, and Britney, with one leg, wasn't able to support himself. Tim had his hands full, so he dropped George into the door, opening it wide.

"He makes a wonderful door-stopper." He mumbled to himself. He led the others in, poking their backs with his sword. Inside, Jolly sat at a large, rotten table. He was sitting on a stool that looked twice as bad as the table. George woke up as Tim dragged him forward to close the door. He looked at the table.

"u knows, u should meet teh vikings. dey haz nice furniture." George noted, scrunching his face at the sight of everything in the room. Jolly glared at him.

"Enough of the nonsense boy." He commanded.

"but teh table iz-"

"NO MORE!"

"stoopid guy say no."

"NO! Wait.... You're pushing it!"

"pushing wut? i has been pulled all dis way." George was really starting to get into it.

"I will turn you and every one of your little friends into dust if you speak one more word." Jolly finally said, losing his patience.

"i will pull you armz off if u hurt meh fwiends."

"SILE-"

"shutz up! me waz no finish! den i will pull ur legs off! and den ur head! an den i will carve my name in ur spine. it will say 'george waz here in dis exact spot foo'." George said EXTREMELY fast as if he had thought of it beforehand. George is actually starting to become somewhat 'smart'.

"GEORGE! SHUT UP!" Britney yelled at him.

"NU! you be next brit boy!" George narrowed his eyes at Britney.

"ALL OF YOU SILENCE!" Jolly screamed, pounding his fist on the table, ultimately cracking it. "PIECE OF JUNK!" He picked up the table at threw it out the back of the ship through a hole that was already there.

"coughvikingscough" George said. Luckly Jolly didn't hear this. He had his hand over his face.

"Unfortunately, I cannot spare killing you, as I need information on The Burrito." Jolly said, he scraggly voice growing calm. "So tell me, what exact power does this said Burrito contain?" He asked. Anton knocked on the glass of his bottle. Jolly looked down. He used the dagger attachment on his hand to poke a hole in the cork. Big enough to let sound out, but not enough to let Anton out.

"The Burrito, if consumed, has the ability to give it's user massive flatulence capabilities." Anton said, gasping for air at the same time.

"I've no clue what that insect just said." Jolly responded.

"he says dat teh ultimate burrito givez big toots when u nom on it." George pointed out. Jolly nodded and smiled. He liked the whole idea.

"Now, where EXACTLY on Raven's Cove is it?"

"idk......." George mumbled.

"YES YOU DO! TELL ME YOU DAMN NOOB!" Jolly screamed at him.

"uh.......... teh public restroom?"

"Yes..... yes.... OF COURSE! Why did I not think of it before?! To hide such a beautiful cuisine in such a hideous place! LET'S GET TO RAVEN'S COVE MATES! WE NEED TO FIND THE BATHROOM!" Jolly cried with joy. He stormed out of the Captain's Quarters and commanded his crew.

"lulz. teh stoopid guy tinks duh burrito is in a potty." George laughed.

"George, for once, you were right." Anton sputtered.

"oh......poop...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I'm sorry this chapter is like, WAAAAAAAAY late. My fault. ANYWAYS, I stuck a little Ikea reference in there :P tell me if you find it. Lots of dialogue in this chapter. But yea..... ENJOY FOO!

[Tiberius Fireskull]

PIB, I think this may be the funniest yet. I swear, rofl is not enough to describe the laughter that was emanating from me. That was really, really funny. I'll write the next chapter.... sometime... soon...hopefully..