The Dynamics of Failure - A Comedy that makes no sense

[WitchdoctorDan]

Due to "popular" demand, I have decided to extend the story. This one is short, but I was tired. Fair trade.
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CHAPTE 2: You left out the "R", stupid.

"Get off of me you fool!" Surrey shouted. Daniel got his footing back after stumbling into Surrey. The night was particularly dark, so the potholes were near invisible. But... he didn't step in a pothole.

"Sorry, I don't have me sea legs..." Daniel mumbled and threw back the contents of his bottle.

"We aren't at sea, idiot. We haven't left Port Royal." Edward responded, rubbing his temples in anger.

Daniel looked puzzled. "Then what smells like fish? PWNED! PWNED! I PWNT YOU N00B!!!!11!!1!!!"

"What was that last part? And I believe that terrible smell is... you." Surrey responded. Just then, a rumble was heard in the distance. Seconds later, a cannonball smashed into the bulding nearby. Daniel stood still as the other two dove down and covered their heads..

"Oh, for the love of..." Surrey mumbled as he pulled Daniel into the dirt.

"Ah haha... Ya got me back!" Daniel yelled as he stood back up. A cannonball flew past and broke his bottle of rum in his hand. He twitched. He then ran into the water and hopped in a boat. Surrey and Edward, confused, hopped into the boat with him.

"Excellent plan, Daniel! We'll sneak out under the cover of night, and we'll just bring her about to the other side of the island and be perfectly safe! Good job, my boy!" Surrey said to Daniel. He thought that he may have misjudged Daniel. He was dead-wrong. Daniel pulled a pistol and a sword (he had stolen both from a sleeping man) and cursed at the ship's crew. He pulled alongside and shot one of the crewman that looked over the bulwarks. The crewman fell into the boat, dead. Then, an army of men appeared at the bulwarks. Three of them threw ropes at the three men, the ropes the tightened around them in a lasso-style manner and they were drug up to the deck. A hundred pistols were heard clattering, aiming at the group.

"Oh. I should have expected this. I would applaud you, but I SEEM TO BE ALL TIED UP." Surrey said/screamed, followed by manical laughter.

"Quiet!" one of the crewmen ordered and put bags over their heads, one at a time. All they could see was the black interior of the bag. The last thing Surrey remembered feeling was being dragged across the deck and feeling a sharp pain to the head.