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The Story Of Davy_ And The Impossible Bright Darkness
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#5
11-15-2010, 10:56 PM
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I like the direction.. but your posts are extraordinarily short, and hard to follow. Try separating your story in to paragraphs, adding deeper descriptions, and adding more substance to each part.
Your story has a lot of potential. Just try to bring it to a grander scheme. 
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