How do you handle unwanted friend requests?

[Angel]

"Will u be my friend?" "please friend me" "Y wont you be my friend" "Your rude" "I'm gonna report you"

Those are what I get when I try to be nice. I wish there was a /bird emote sometimes.....make the suspension worth it!

[Steely Jim]

If I'm just running through an area, and they don't speak, then I just keep on running to where I was going; however, if I'm just standing around, then I'll speak.

So far, the most effective phrase I've found has been: "What would be the basis of our friendship?" That seems to send about 4 out of 5 people running in the opposite direction, without further comment.

I think it works primarily because these requests are coming from 1 of 2 types of player: those who view you as a potential asset to their play of the game, and those who still developing socially.

That first group is well aware of what their intentions are for a basis, but the minute you question them on the subject of intentionality, they'll assume the jig is up and realize they don't want to spell that basis out because it be weighted towards self-interests.

The second group is just operating under the impression that everyone else in the game is part of their shared experience of seemingly unsupervised interaction time with other human beings. In many ways, these MMOs are the cognitive equivalent of "the mall" (i.e. a general public space that is assumed to be well supervised for public safety, enough so that many parents allow their children to begin their forays into the world of unsupervised free time with their peer in these places). By adopting a more formal language structure, you are signaling yourself as outside their peer group (like a mall security guard, or an uptight store clerk), and for the most part they realize on their own that you wouldn't be much fun for them (although, they might just switch over to the first group as their initial response).

The problems start when the interactions carry more value judgments. For the most of the first group, in their minds, they offering to enter into a reciprocal relationship. By denying them "friendship," you are essentially signaling that you think that you could help them but they'd never be able to help you; people never like to be told that someone else thinks they're better than them.

For the second group, they also sometimes react negatively, but it stems from the feeling that you've deceived them because they've suddenly had to accept the reality that the virtual space is occupied by just their peer group. Still, they seem to experience a sensation much like you were hanging out at the secret clubhouse wearing a child costume, and you suddenly stepped out of that costume and revealed yourself as the enemy.

[Bilgepump]

Originally Posted by Steely Jim

In many ways, these MMOs are the cognitive equivalent of "the mall"

I think they see it as more like m-y-s-p-a-c-e or livejournal, where there aren't really any costs to being on someone else's friend list. So they're friending everyone in sight.

[Steely Jim]

I think they're really both part of the same social phenomenon, namely a realization that we interact primarily on a cognitive level and that can transcend actual physical interactions in many cases. The big difference between them seems to be that social networking sites seem to promote a hybridizing approach, with the idea that most users will use the site to tie into their local community.

With the MMO, the expectation is that most people will not interact in the physical world, unless they did so prior to making contact within the game anyway. The social networking sites will always have their place because they promote real-world interactions by building online communities based primarily on offline interests. MMOs promote a single shared interest--the game, but they tend to dampen communication about things beyond that world.

As these MMOs progress, they are showing more and more awareness of recreating physical communication; we primates are such visual creatures that kinesics are still very important to our ability to communicate. The communication level of an MMO is weaker, mostly because these interactions will never be supported by real-life interactions that would allow for assumptions to be made in lieu of extra-linguistic communication within the virtual world.

In any case, there is always a cost to friendship where gift exchanges (including time donations) are present, and that cost is the future reciprocation of that gift exchange.

[Hile]

Originally Posted by Angel

Those are what I get when I try to be nice. I wish there was a /bird emote sometimes.....make the suspension worth it!

Yeah I miss the /rude emote from EverQuest.

[Bilgepump]

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the distinction between ground and figure. However, the subject is interpolated into a material paradigm of context that includes culture as a paradox.

Derrida suggests the use of patriarchialist materialism to deconstruct elitist perceptions of society. It could be said that many theories concerning Marxist capitalism exist.

The futility, and hence the rubicon, of the material paradigm of context prevalent in Joyce’s Dubliners is also evident in A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man, although in a more mythopoetical sense. But any number of deappropriations concerning the common ground between art and society may be discovered.

If one examines capitalist capitalism, one is faced with a choice: either reject realism or conclude that the Constitution is responsible for capitalism, given that truth is interchangeable with language. Lacan uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote a self-sufficient reality. In a sense, the primary theme of Scuglia’s essay on postdialectic theory is the fatal flaw, and some would say the meaninglessness, of constructivist society.

“Art is part of the genre of truth,” says Baudrillard. Reicher holds that we have to choose between capitalist capitalism and the pretextual paradigm of consensus. Thus, the subject is contextualised into a that includes sexuality as a totality.

In Dubliners, Joyce affirms capitalist capitalism; in A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man he analyses realism. In a sense, Marx uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote the role of the observer as poet.

If realism holds, we have to choose between capitalist capitalism and capitalist socialism. But the premise of subcultural sublimation states that culture is used to exploit minorities.

An abundance of discourses concerning the material paradigm of context exist. However, Debord uses the term ‘capitalist capitalism’ to denote not theory, as capitalist nationalism suggests, but neotheory.

The main theme of the works of Joyce is the futility, and subsequent meaninglessness, of subtextual society. The subject is interpolated into a that includes language as a whole. But the primary theme of Finnis’s critique of realism is a pretextual totality.

If one examines the material paradigm of context, one is faced with a choice: either accept realism or conclude that the significance of the reader is deconstruction, but only if capitalist capitalism is valid. The subject is contextualised into a that includes reality as a reality. Therefore, the characteristic theme of the works of Joyce is the difference between class and society.

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the concept of capitalist culture. Marx’s analysis of capitalist capitalism holds that consciousness is capable of intent. It could be said that a number of materialisms concerning the rubicon, and eventually the economy, of submodernist sexual identity may be revealed.

Sontag promotes the use of the material paradigm of context to analyse and modify class. In a sense, the subject is interpolated into a that includes sexuality as a totality.

Marx uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote a self-justifying reality. But Lacan suggests the use of capitalist socialism to challenge the status quo.

The primary theme of Abian’s critique of realism is the bridge between society and truth. It could be said that the material paradigm of context suggests that language serves to reinforce hierarchy, given that consciousness is distinct from reality.

An abundance of discourses concerning realism exist. In a sense, the subject is contextualised into a predialectic paradigm of narrative that includes art as a whole.

The main theme of the works of Joyce is not, in fact, narrative, but neonarrative. But Sartre promotes the use of the material paradigm of context to read class.

If one examines the material paradigm of context, one is faced with a choice: either reject Lyotardist narrative or conclude that the establishment is capable of significance. The example of realism depicted in Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake emerges again in Dubliners. However, Debord’s essay on Lyotardist narrative implies that consciousness has objective value, but only if the premise of realism is invalid; otherwise, the purpose of the writer is significant form.

“Class is a legal fiction,” says Lyotard; however, according to de Selby , it is not so much class that is a legal fiction, but rather the genre, and subsequent stasis, of class. Several discourses concerning the role of the reader as observer may be found. Therefore, Sartre uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote not narrative, as Derrida would have it, but postnarrative.

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the distinction between destruction and creation. The characteristic theme of Sargeant’s model of Lyotardist narrative is the role of the poet as writer. In a sense, de Selby suggests that we have to choose between the subtextual paradigm of context and structural discourse.

Debord suggests the use of Lyotardist narrative to deconstruct class divisions. However, a number of deappropriations concerning the material paradigm of context exist.

If postcapitalist discourse holds, we have to choose between Lyotardist narrative and the semanticist paradigm of discourse. In a sense, Buxton states that the works of Spelling are empowering.

Foucault promotes the use of the material paradigm of context to modify and analyse sexual identity. It could be said that the subject is interpolated into a that includes art as a totality.

Debord suggests the use of pretextual narrative to attack outmoded, sexist perceptions of reality. Thus, Foucault’s essay on Lyotardist narrative holds that consciousness is used to oppress the proletariat, given that art is equal to reality.

The subject is contextualised into a material paradigm of context that includes art as a reality. Therefore, the fatal flaw of realism intrinsic to Spelling’s The Heights is also evident in Beverly Hills 90210, although in a more patriarchial sense.

[dangerousden]

I think some people have been doing too many psych courses at college lol

[gatechgal]

Bilge you seem WAY to educated for a pirate.

[mongo]

Logical part of the brain sees a reasonable discussion on the phenomenon and the effects of computers on communication and social interaction.

The gaming part of my brain is just wondering where the rum is.

[Steely Jim]

While that was one of the more impressive post-modernist, ultra-materialist stream-of-consciousness reviews of 20th media that I have ever seen, you'd really need to start teasing apart a few of the separate issues you have working there before we can discuss it terms of how to deal with unwanted requests for friendhip in the game.

Since it won't tie in that well, I'd just like to say that I see the Constitution as a document written in an atmosphere of people being very excited by Adam Smith and the economic school that was taking hold in Scotland at the end of the 18th century. If we're pointing fingers at someone for touching off the kind of laissez-faire capitalism that is so romantically popular today, then my vote goes with Lorenzo di Medici and Jacob Fugger.

EDIT: To the above posters, I'm pretty sure that was just a circuitous way to suggest that my previous posts were not particularly relevant, and too pretentious. Ah well, I still say the exact phrase "What would be the basis of our friendship?" works surprisingly consistently.

[Sarah]

The gaming part of my brain is just wondering where the rum is.

Right over.......Here

[Bilgepump]

I got it from the Postmodern Essay Generator here: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

I've always had a strong interest in text generators and natural language processing.

Why yes, I am a geek, why do you ask?

[Steely Jim]

Originally Posted by Bilgepump

I got it from the Postmodern Essay Generator here: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

I've always had a strong interest in text generators and natural language processing.

Why yes, I am a geek, why do you ask?

Well, since you've gone out of your way to "teach me a lesson" about being a "bad forum poster," I suppose I may as well make sure I'm getting the lesson right. So, in order to passive-aggressively call me out for being verbose and off-topic, you introduced a wall of randomly generated text which caused at least 3 people, before I saw the post, to spend time reading and responding to a post that was composed entirely of randomly generated text that had nothing to do with the thread topic.

I'm sure everyone appreciated you being casual with their time to show me what a terrible forum poster I am, but is that really a lesson that lands when presented in the "do as I say, not as I do" format?

[Silver Beard]

If I get a friend request from a level 1-??? pirate I just hit the NO button and teleport outa there...LOL! I already have a bunch of taken spaces on my friends list, and at the moment I don't even have time for friends in POTCO.

[Chris Ironhawk]

Disney needs to make the friend requests come up in a little window like skirmishes instead of you having to sacrifice yourself to an assassin to use the manual windshield wipers.

Christopher Ironhawk
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