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#1
03-10-2011, 08:46 AM
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The Boy With a Dream
Well, I have decided to start writing my own story. This story will be about Christopher Ironhawk and the many adventures and the many adventures of his life. He was just one boy with a huge dream. This dream will soon turn into a reality.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue Since age 7, young Christopher Ironhawk sat on his porch for hours at a time, admiring the glorious War Galleons, Frigates, and Ships of the Line travel through the ports of Cuba. The sails looked so white, and clean. Christopher simply loved to gaze wonderingly at the chests and crates that sailed into port each day. He always dreamed of opening one up and discovering the wonders that are shielded by the golden lids. On the day after Chris's 13th birthday, he was strolling through the docks with a certain spirit; a spirit that made him feel more empowered than he had ever been. That could've been because he felt that he would find an amazing discovery, or maybe just because he was now going out into the world as a teenager. Whatever the reason was, it gave him happiness. While he was walking through the marketplace, he heard a raspy voice. The man speaking said something that sent chills down Chris's spine: "pirates". After hearing this, Chris immediately started looking through the crowd for the source of the raspy voice. Then, Chris saw him. Standing before him was a brawny man with shoulder-length blonde hair. His face was decorated with charms and jewelry or every color of precious stone. There were was emerald green, diamond clear, and ruby red. But what really caught Chris’s eye was the way this man was dressed. The large man was covered in colorful clothing that really stood out. "There I was, face to face with a monster so ugly, it might as well have come from the fiery cave of the devil himself! Why, I was looking straight into the eyes of Davy Jones, the master of Davy Jones’s locker! It is here that you go after your life has been taken by the sea. When you are in The Locker, you would like to take a vacation to Hell! Wanna know what I did?” He looked around to make sure everybody was listening, “I took my sword and I cut off one of his tentacles! The beast let out a shriek so blood-curdling that I, meself, was forced to cover my ears! After that, I feinted. I don’t know how or why, but I did. When I awoke, I was lying on the bed that I grew up in, at my old mother’s house.” After the story was finished, Christopher did not hesitate to talk to the colorful pirate. “Excuse me, good sir. I could not help but notice your colorful clothes that you have on, especially your hat. If you would be so kind, mister, would you please tell me where you acquired such a fine taste?” Christopher asked. “I would like to see if I can strike a bargain with the merchant.” The colorful man was wearing a bright green top hat with an intricate design with all green shades you could imagine. He placed a big, hairy hand on Christopher’s shoulder. “Son, thank you for the compliment. It just so happens that I am in the market to sell this hat, if you are interested.” “Yessir, I am very much interested. But before we negotiate a deal, I would like to ask you something. Your story was very interested. I have never heard a more thrilling one. But what were you doing so far out in the sea so Davy Jones could find you?” The decorated man laughed, “Son, I like the way you think. I was out in the Hinderseas looking for ships that I might be able to steal treasure from. I could not have had worse luck, running into Jones.” He went on, “I am a pirate. Perhaps you have heard of us. We roam the world, looking for treasure. HAVE you ever heard of us?” The boy was in awe that he was meeting a real pirate! Chris had so many questions for the man, but he did not want to waste the pirate’s time. “Oh yes sir! I have heard stories about pirates!” Christopher exclaimed, “How they roam the globe looking for treasure! And they are free; truly free. I have always wanted to sail aboard a mighty ship, like the war ships that sail into the docks every day! Do YOU have a ship, mister?” “Of course I have a ship! What is your name, by the way?” “The name is Christopher Ironhawk, sir. Future pirate captain.” “Christopher Ironhawk,” he let that name sink in. “I like the sound of that. The name is Captain Kim Vo, Chris, owner of the Shadow Executioner, the finest War Galleon to ever sail the Seas.” Christopher was beside himself. He could not believe that he was actually face to face with a real-life pirate! “Wow… A War Galleon… I watch those sail into port everyday. They look to be the most majestic ships, with many cannons. I feel bad for your enemies,” Chris marveled. “Yesterday was my 13th birthday, Captain. I was home alone; no one bothered to celebrate in any way. Not even my own parents. I sat on the porch and watched ships sail in and out of port all day long. Sir, as long as it doesn’t cause you too much trouble, would you be willing to take me aboard? Just to see the deck?” “OF COURSE! Tell you what, Chris,” he proposed. “I will take you aboard, and you will get to drive her! What do you think of that, Christopher Ironhawk?” At this point, Christopher could not believe what he was hearing. All of his dreams were coming true, one after the other! “Are you sure, Captain?” Christopher asked, unsure of his abilities to drive. “I have never driven anything before…” “I am very sure, Chris,” said Vo in a reassuring voice. “Besides, I will be right there with you, guiding you throughout the process.” “In that case, I can’t thank you enough, Captain Vo. You are making all of my dreams come true.” The walk to the Executioner was short, mostly because the marketplace was so close, but Captain Vo was also helping by pushing people around, making them squeal. Chris liked this man even more now. After a few short minutes, Chris stopped abruptly. Captain Vo knew why. Looking down at both of them was the Shadow Executioner. Christopher tried to show self control, but the force was too great. Chris flew right past Captain Vo and up the gangplank. When Vo got there, Chris was petrified with amazement. What the young boy saw was a large lower deck, complete with 10 cannons and gleaming floors that were just begging Christopher to step on them. He did. After Chris took in the sight of the ship, Captain Vo escorted Christopher up to the Captain-Only deck. From there, the captain started shouting orders to his men, who, in his absence, were sleeping. Vo’s men were so well-trained that in a matter of minutes, the Shadow Executioner was on it’s way out of port. The captain beckoned Chris up to the helm, where Christopher Ironhawk would drive his first ship. For some reason, Chris was shaking out of his clothes. He was excited, yet terrified. What if I mess up? What if the ship goes down? He needed to get these thoughts out of his mind. So, he took hold of the wheel, and lets all of his worries go. They sailed for a great deal of time, until daylight turned to dusk. “Did you enjoy yourself, Christopher Ironhawk?” “Yes, sir. I have never felt more free, more alive.” “That is how a pirate is supposed to feel,” the Captain said. “I have something for you. In the marketplace, you mentioned that you like my hat. Well, now it is yours. Take good care of it, Christopher Ironhawk.” As Captain Vo placed the hat on Chris’s head, he said, “I have another surprise for you, as well. You showed such a great interest in War Galleons, and specifically the Executioner. That is why, Christopher Ironhawk, I have decided to purchase a War Galleon for you. She will be built in about a month,” he paused for a moment. “Of course, you will have to find a crew and name her, but I have gotten you started. While the ship is being built, I would like to personally train you to captain and drive her. Take the Executioner back to port, Captain Christopher Ironhawk. I would like to place the order today.” “Captain Vo, you have no idea how much this means to me. You are making all of my dreams come true. This is the best birthday ever!” “It has been my pleasure, Captain Christopher Ironhawk.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have not figured out a set day of the week that I will post yet, but I will be posting weekly. I personally liked this chapter, mainly because it shows how one life can change another. Just like that. You guys know what authors like. Anything about my story is relevant here. Please praise and critique as much as you'd like. This is the first progressive story I have ever done, so I am still developing. ~Chris Ironhawk |
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#2
03-11-2011, 02:52 AM
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I like it Chris. Its nice. As you said, it shows how one life can change another. My favorite chapters are always the Prologues. The prologue sets up the whole story, and one sentence in it can affect the whole story ahead.
Very nice, I'll be watching this thread.... |
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#4
03-11-2011, 01:29 PM
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Pretty good Chris!
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#5
03-11-2011, 02:34 PM
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WOW I loved it Chris!
I need a Captain Vo in my life  I can't wait to hear more of Christopher Ironhawk and his adventures!! Great job! |
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#6
03-11-2011, 11:48 PM
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This is one of the more interesting stories, instead of a dark and dreary story, (*cough* Del *cough*) this is a more of a light and happy beginning.
Yikes I said light and happy. |
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#7
03-11-2011, 11:52 PM
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 Nice job so far, Chris! Looking forward to see the rest! |
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#8
03-11-2011, 11:58 PM
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Oh believe me..... There will be death and destruction in chapters to come.....
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#10
03-12-2011, 08:44 AM
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I like it Chris! It gives a good intro and sets the story up nice. Now lets see how Chris fares being a Captain....
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#11
03-13-2011, 09:10 AM
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I love it.
 It's a very cute, classic story that has a lot of potential. Post again soon! (Because I also like death and destruction) 
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#12
03-13-2011, 10:45 PM
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Enraged
OK mates... I will be posting every Monday, but since I had this chapter done, I decided that I would post a day early, just for you. So, without further ado, I give you:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Enraged Once Christopher had turned 16, after his ship, the Shadow Executioner, had been built, and he had recruited his closest friends, William Goldwalker and Pirate Guy, to be on his crew, they were soon ready to begin the maiden voyage of the Executioner. While the crew was loading the ship up, their parents stopped by. They were all saying how proud of their children they were, how, hopefully, they would rid the island of the dreaded, demonic Royal Navy. There had always been a rule in this part of the island that pirates were not to be spoken of. The parents forgot about this rule. Before the young men could do anything, their parents were forcefully yanked into the middle of a large circle, composed of Navy Sergeants. “Speaking of pirates, are we, ey?” yelled one of the guards. “After this, I think you will be able to keep your mouth shut!” shouted another one. The soldiers started a mosh pit, pushing all of the adults around, and laughing. This went on for about 5 minutes. During this time, Chris was busy thinking of a way to rescue them. Nothing came to him. Instead, he shouted, “Leave my parents alone!” He was pushed out of the way by one of the guards. “Bloody boy! Do you not see what is happening to them?” he questioned “Do NOT let this be you, kid!” By the time the man had finished talking to Chris, the soldiers had moved on to a gruesome part of their humiliation. The men had their bayonets and swords drawn, ready to strike. First one blow, then another. After only 30 seconds, the crew’s parents were bruised, cut, and stabbed. Seeing this caused Chris to become enraged. Far more enraged than he had ever been before, times ten. The crew’s parents were scrunched together in the center of the circle. Then came the truly horrific part. Six men disbanded from the circle and grabbed one of the parents each. Now bruised, bloodied, and man-handled, the parents did not resist. They were lined up shoulder to shoulder. An officer walked down the line, inspecting each one of the accused. “So, you think you can talk about pirates, do ya?” he questioned happily “About how they are going to someday free you filthy peasants from the divine ruling of the Royal Navy on your island? Well think again! I run this island! I DO! There will be no talk of pirates amongst ANY of you! And just to make sure that this does not happen again, I will make you a deal. MEN!” The moment the officer spoke this word, each man who was holding a prisoner was joined by another soldier. There were now a total of 12 sergeants in front of the officer. Just then, as if it were second nature to the sick, cruel soldiers, they uniformly pulled their swords out and held them to each culprits’ neck. “I will give each of you peasants one more chance.” said the officer “Recant what you said, about the pirates rescuing you from our clutches, and you will be freed. If not, you will be sent to the fiery depths of below. If you wish to recant, do it now! Anyone? No one? Good……” The way that the officer said that last word sent chills down Chris’s spine. He said it with such happiness, as if he were happy that he was sentencing six people to death. Chris only saw the officer nod to one person, yet one after the other five of the bodies fell. The only one left standing was Christina, Christopher’s mother. As her turn for death approached, she spoke “I love you Christopher.” She said, dripping with tears “You are destined for great things. I know it.” Everything after that happened in slow motion for Chris. The blade in the sergeant’s hand started to move. Terrified, Christopher watched, etching her mother’s bloody, broken face into his mind. This image would forever haunt him. He saw the scarlet-red blood starting to drip from her throat. He looked down, seeing only more brokenness. Her hands were shredded to pieces. Her chest, bruised from bayonets. Chris watched in pain, but as the body started to fall, he forced himself to look away. He heard the body fall, and that was it. The street was abandoned. Six bodies lay in the middle of the road. “Time to go, mates,” Christopher said. “It is time to set this island free. Finish loading up the ship, then tell the crew that we are sailing towards Port Royal.” “WAIT!” a female voice shouted breathlessly “Captain Ironhawk, I would like to join your crew.” “Why in the world would you want to come with me?” Chris spat out. “Because I saw what those guards did to your parents. They did the same thing to my parents. Right down to the taunts. The four of us have the drive and the fuel to wipe out the Navy.” she explained “Plus, I think that I would make a great addition to your team.” “Oh yeah?” Ironhawk questioned “Why’s that?” “I can work a voodoo doll. Very well. I was trained by Tia Dalma herself. She taught me the ways of the art. I do not like to attack, but when I do, I can silence an enemy permanently in one shot.” she went on “My healing is very powerful. I can patch up a gash in nearly seconds. Like I said, I would be a good asset to the crew.” Chris thought about this for a moment. “Do you realize how dangerous this will be?” he questioned “You may not make it out with your life. You sound like you would be a good asset to my crew, and I am willing to allow you to help, but you need to realize that you will be risking your life.” “Yessir, I understand. I truly think that this is my destiny,” she said with passion. “to help you in your quest against the Royal Navy.” Chris liked the way this girl thought. “Alright, meet us on the Executioner in exactly 10 minutes. If you aren’t here, we are leaving without you.” She was so excited that she was back in seven minutes, bags and all. Captain Ironhawk showed her to her sleeping quarters. Then, it hit Chris that he had not asked her for her name. “What is your name, anyway?” “Goldcastle. Charlotte Goldcastle.” “OK, Goldcastle, I am Captain Christopher Ironhawk. Welcome to the crew.” She looked to be no more than 20 years old. But anyone who could handle a doll as well as she could was welcome on his ship. On the ship, Chris spent many of the days at sea on his top deck, where the Captain was able to clear his mind. On the third day at sea, Charlotte came up to see Ironhawk. “Is everything alright, Chris?” she asked sympathetically “You have been up here for days. Is something on your mind?” Chris hesitated for a minute, then said, “Before my parents were killed, I thought that I was just doing this to save my country form the evil grasp of the Navy.” he paused “But now, now it is personal. I WILL avenge my parents’ death. The Navy had no right to do that. I will make an oath to strike down every Navy swine that I come into contact with. As we do this, their forces shall shrink, and ours shall grow. When I believe the time is right, we will raid their most heavily-guarded fort, Kingshead. That will teach them. That will teach them to mess with Christopher Ironhawk, the most powerful pirate to ever sail within the Caribbean.” “Christopher, I know that the Navy did a bad thing. I do not agree with them, but I think that you are taking this a bit far. OK, you are mad, and you want to get them back, but do you realize how many of them there are? For all we know, there could be 10’s of thousands of them!” “I know this, and we will figure it out when we get that far, but for right now, we will do all we can to stop the Navy from doing anything that will upset the balance in the Caribbean. The war between the two forces has been going on for years, centuries, even. But today, today, this war becomes personal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This chapter was pretty hard to write because of how descriptive I had to be during the executions. The thought of losing parents, aye? I can't imagine the feeling. But I think that I nailed the feeling that I would have if my parents were taken from me. I can just imagine Char dragging all of her suitcases up the gangplank, filled with her potions and dolls. Love ya, Char! Anyways, did I do awesome? Terrible? Should I stop writing all together? Let me know what you think, mates. ~Chris Ironhawk Last edited by Chris Ironhawk; 03-14-2011 at 04:50 AM.. |
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#13
03-14-2011, 02:19 AM
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You did horrible. You should never write again. Never in my life have I read such an atrocious story.
Guess what? IT'S OPPOSITE DAY! Wunderbar, Chris! That was sad when they died, but hey, what's a good pirate story without a few good people dying?  I love how you're including PNC peoples, too. :] Char is pretty awesome. I wonder if she's in the guild... I don't think I've met her. Re-post ASAP! ^^ |
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#14
03-14-2011, 03:23 AM
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Love that story!!
don't let it be like mine, were i wrote two chapters then droped it.And I know this sounds selfish, but am i going to be in the story? and if i am, when? thanks
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#15
03-14-2011, 03:32 AM
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Thanks for the compliments, guys! Love ya guys! |
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The Boy With a Dream
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