In the Kraken's Grasp (Continued)

[KeeperOfTheCode]

Let's see how you like this one...

All week, day in, day out. Searching; always searching. All mortal work to no avail, for the jewel would not appear to their eyes for another year, until the red moon returned. But that didn't mean that poor undead souls would be deterred.

"Have you found the jewel yet?" the captain inquired.

"Nothing yet sir. Sir, didn't we sink nearer the shoals?"

"I've told you already, this is the right place! Now back to work!" Stomping across the deck, the captain left the young cabin boy to put his nets to the water again to find the cursed gem that had cost the crew their lives so many moons ago.

Returning to his cabin only brought bad memories; fears of the past, but the captain found himself returning to it time and time again. Drip, Drop. Water gathered on the support beam before pattering to the ground. Memories stirred in from their dark resting places to haunt the captain.

Dark, so dark! Where is the jewel? Where was he for that matter? The stench of rot and vapors of salt make wrinkle his nose. I have to find a way out...

"Captain?" the captain was startled out of his memories by the cabin boy.

"What is it?" he snapped, though he was not irritated with the boy, but with himself for remembering.

"The black jewel... it's--" Before the young lad had even finished his sentence, the captain charged past, onto the deck, past skeletal crewmen going about their duties, swabbing the decks, and sewing torn canvas. The pungent smell of leather rising from the tanning vats, reminding him of the clothes he had worn that night...

Searing pain in his left arm. Acidic saliva seeping from stalactites, not stalactites, but teeth, drip in little pools of black darker than the oblivion around him. It must have fallen on his arm... The soft, spongey floor of the mouth squelched beneath him as his feet fell it. Little bits of their ships sails and, more strangely, jewels, lay scattered around at his feet. No, not jewels! Splinters of their masts. He suddenly became aware that his vision blurred, making the already dark landscape of the beast's insides all the inkier. He was losing oxygen....

"Sir! We've found it!" The sudden announcement caught him off guard. Drawing his blade, he reacted quickly, swinging around with his wrought iron blade. Thunk. Another released from Jolly Roger's spell.

Without so much as looking over his shoulder, for human life seemed to matter little now, he ran across the deck smiling, almost laughing. Shivering, he ran his fingers over the silky gold fabric, avoiding the gem itself. Turning, he rushed through the decks below to get to the hold, wherein lay a makeshift shrine.

Forged of the bones of Maldecido, the beast which had attacked him in the caverns of the dark island, the shrine had two holding places, made of the beast's eye sockets. The black jewel lay there, devouring what light reached it. A certain insanity always hung in the air where it lay. Now, reverently, the captain placed the scarlet jewel, hereafter christened Bloodfire, in its place. Just then, the ship shook...


Hope you liked it. Not as frightening as some my earlier works I should think, but do comment on it.

[Crestshot]

Once again, Keeper, you leave the reader hanging, waiting and wishing for the next part. The way you continued the cliffhanger from the last part of this story was different, but good. Now, using imagery is one thing, but being able to use sound is another. When you use the simple Thunk or Drip, drop, it brings the reader even further into a story, bringing a whole new dimension to it. I believe that it is well written, but it is a bit confusing. I had to read it a few times to get the full message of it. Still, though, I am anxiously awaiting the next part! Good job Keeper!

[Nate Swordwalker]

Nice job Keeper! As Crest said, the way you use an onomatopoeia to describe what is happening shows some incredible writing skills. It was kind of confusing though, such as this part right here.

Originally Posted by KeeperOfTheCode

Another released from Jolly Roger's spell.

He is on the ship, right? Why would there be a skeleton on his ship? I am confused. Help me out a little please?

Can't wait for the next one mate. Looking forward to it!

[KeeperOfTheCode]

Originally Posted by Nate Swordwalker

Nice job Keeper! As Crest said, the way you use an onomatopoeia to describe what is happening shows some incredible writing skills. It was kind of confusing though, such as this part right here. He is on the ship, right? Why would there be a skeleton on his ship? I am confused. Help me out a little please?

Can't wait for the next one mate. Looking forward to it!

You may notice that this is In the Kraken's Grasp (Continued) Very important, those things in parentheses. If you read the first part of the story, it is implied that they have been brought back to serve good ol' Jolly.

As for your comments Crestshot, I wanted it to be a little confusing. This story has little to no closure, which of course means it has yet to be completed. Interesting concept, no?