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#1
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Burning and Broken
Hi mates! I have decided to try me luck once again at writing (dont think I dont hear yer groaning back there mates ). So without further ado, I present to you: Prolouge Henry glanced behind him, then realizing where he was, shook his head dumbly. Henry happened to be an Officer in the British Royal Navy, and was standing on a bridge on Tortuga with a noose on his head. He was going to be hung for his supposedly evil actions. In truth, Henry was just doing his job. If his job said be a pirate, then he would be one. Sadly, it didnt. He died a few short seconds later. Chapter 1: Why is all the rum gone? Stealth had a bayonet in his hand and was wearing an elaborate coat and pants. He checked that he still had that last bullet in his hand. The bullet that would end it all. He ducked behind a building as a skeleton platoon was marching forwards. They took no notice of him, fortunatly. Stealth saw Jolly approaching, wrecking all of the buildings on Port Royal. "Where are you, Stealthy? You cant hide forever you know." Jolly said. "Right here," As bravely as Stealth could manage. Jolly turned. Stealth took his aim and fired. Jolly took it without a flinch. "You think a bullet can stop me, pirate?" Jolly replied, smirking. "The bullet was lined with pure silver, Jolly." Stealth grinned. Jolly's eyes widened with horror. "My minions will hunt you down. It is my town after all. And then," Jolly snickered," the ghosts will come." Stealth put a boot to his head and stomped as hard as he could. Jolly went down to meet Davy Jones, taking Stealth's boot with him. "Its a shame,"Stealth mused,"I really liked that boot. Checking his rum bottle, he said, "Why is all the rum gone?" And so that concludes it mates! Please review (*cough* Del *cough Davy *cough* *cough*). Rum is onCrest. |
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#2
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Its a very nice story but Its kind of short, are you going to add more chapters?
Last edited by Christopher; 03-26-2011 at 06:45 PM.. |
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#3
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Thinking about it James.
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#4
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Greetings mate! Since I cant go on POTCO right now, I thought I would make a new chapter. (Those of you who actually read my story.)
Anywho... Chapter 2: Abducted With Jolly dead, skeletons started to fall back. That didn't stop pirates from killing them. Stealth crept along a hill, where skeletons where passing below. Stealth leapt off the hill, behind the skeletons. Throwing a grenade, then all the skeletons where dead. ![]() ![]() ![]() Stealth walked to a tavern, then steered away. He didn't need popularity tonight. As he was walking toward his home, he was hit on the back of his head. Stealth blacked out. ![]() ![]() When he came to, he was on a ship. A man was smiling in a rather gruesome way. "You remember me, no?" the man asked. "Ro...Roger? Is that you? I thought.. you were dead..." Stealth said. Roger's smile started to fade a little bit. "The dead are rising, mate. When you killed Jolly, it created a massive stir down there, Jolly's spirit is so evil that...they.."Roger shuddered,"the point is that Jolly's spirit was rejected along with some of the spirits that he didn't like. He dubbed us the burning and broken." --- Before we go on... I suppose I will brief you on Roger. He is Roger Hullfury, who I was told recently had fatal cancer. That is the reason he is in this story. ---- "Sorry about the knocking out, but I want the other pirates to believe you want to believe to be left alone." Roger said. "Where are we going?" Stealth asked. "My friend, we are going to see Jack, Tia and Hector." Roger grinned. "This ought to be good." ---- Sorry if it is short mates, but I dont want it to be unbearably long like *cough*Del*cough*. Comments? Review? Critism? |
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#5
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The chapters are a bit short, maybe you can be a bit more descriptive?
I know Del is infamous for making long chapters, and I know this story's supposed to be funny, not dramatic, but maybe you can write your chapters a little longer and more detailed. |
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#6
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Chapter 3 July 18, 1743 England, Penny Lane Inside the Calico Home "Solomon get up! You're getting married today!" his father shouted from downstairs." Solomon groaned. He didnt love the person he was getting married to. But that was the way in England if you were in royalty. You got married, and you reproduced. All Solomon wanted to do was to be a pirate, but they would kill before he got out of port. Solomon trudged down the stairs, as if the stairs were made of quicksand. He wished he didnt have to get married. ~~~~ July 18,1743 Outside a church 4:00 PM As Solo was slowly walking down the street he was bumped from behind. "Hold on to do this when you are in the church. Fling it up when you are ready to go." Solomon looked at it. It was an envelope labeled SC with a faint blue paper. It also said: 'This Will Take You The Caribbean.' He was starting to brim with excitement. ~~~~ July 18, 1743 Chruch 4:05 PM Solomon went to the lou and opened and flinged it up. There was a whiff of smoke that filled it up and he was teleported to the world of the Caribbean. ~~~~~~ I apologize that is short, but I wanted to finished it there. Comments? Critism? Rum? Last edited by The Stealthy Pirate; 04-17-2011 at 02:22 PM.. |
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