Well, I'll do a post here only because a) it's delete-able, and b) you won't remember this day upon waking up. So:
There's your party that I threw for you (sorry, ran out of invitations, so I couldn't give you one--we all decided
the heck to the surprise when you didn't show up.
And there's your gift-->
(you're gonna have to settle for a 2-dimensional pint: they were all out of 3's. No worries, it's on me mate).
And all that
.
Then again, you did have cake.