[Edward Edgemenace]

I used to think glitches were moderately amusing. But for privateering, knowing everything there is to know about every sort of glitch is just basic survival.

This makes playing the game bad.

Easter eggs are one thing. Cute little extras are, well, cute. Sometimes being able to walk into a wall is cute. Floating on the clouds behind faithful bride is cute. (Well, hard to call anything about a tavern or a bar "cute" but there ya go.) Doing so doesn't affect the game's economy, doesn't upset the flow of gameplay, doesn't give anyone unusual abilities.

PvP? Let's see - pretty much EVERY special weapon gives a preposterously unfair advantage in PvP. It is as artless as one might imagine. Knowing the various wall glitches puts one at an obvious advantage. Knowing glitches like "unattune me" put some people at wild advantages (where they keep you attuned but get out of range of your "equal" attunement.) Any what are you supposed to do the rest of the time, where the game automatically redirects you to a match with someone ten or twenty levels lower than you? Yuck.

In SvS it is a bit worse though. Any basic members are guaranteed to be slaughtered based on the ship class limitations and cannon skill limitations. Plus, their unlimited counterparts get to relax and take their time, knowing you are locked up for 5-30 seconds any time their special ammo lands anywhere near you (like thunder on the ship next to you.)

Some other SvS glitches:

* Invincible ship glitch (effect can be broken by hitting the invincible ship with ramming speed.)
* Infinite repair glitch (repair much faster than a frigate can harm you.)
* Repair indefinitely (repair while underway.)
* Special Ammo glitch - lag your victims into complete immobility for 5 to 30 seconds, by using firebrand, thunder or fury. (Explosive doesn't work?) All attacks from victim ship neutralized, all victim ship movement stopped.
* Plunder ship health (beyond bizarre - just should not ever happen.)
* Assassinate captain glitch (glitch off your hidden boat, walk to their island, board a boat and attack & kill the captain. Take wheel and sail away.)
* Hide inside rock glitch - annoying.
* No way to IGNORE nor REPORT individuals in the privateering channel. Perfect troll: "Anyone need a gunner?" All naive ships respond...the would-be "gunner" of course, goes to none. Bonus troll points for playing 20 questions..."what kind of boat u got?"
* Damage your ship glitch - Saboteur boards enemy ship - when close to rocks, shoot rocks - rock fragments hit boat and can sink it.
* Running away (beyond out of bounds) - ok, this one is kind of neat. But the "lost bounty" penalty should be explained somewhere. Do the ships chasing get any of the lost bounty or not? Do the ships that previously caused damage get any of the lost bounty?
* Repair the wrong section glitch (presumably repairs other ships of your fleet?)
* Grape shot and round shot can be used for assassination, but pistol can't?
* Switch side glitch (is a glitch to be able to switch sides, on the same server.)
* Designated driver glitch (someone other than the driver can steal the wheel while normal non-glitch repairs are being performed.)
* Espionage glitch - crews can have members in more than one boat. Sometimes, can have crew members at sea on both sides of the war.
* PvP/Treasure map glitch - opponents can be harrassed by PvP challenging them and/or Boss Battle invitations. Neither should pop up at all, during SvS.
* Unwanted visitors glitch - opponents can join crew, leave crew, join crew, leave crew, etc., until you turn off crew matching, even though they already ARE sailing on the opposite team...and indeed HAVE declared their allegiance to your enemy.
* Wanted visitors glitch. "Come to me" does not put my visitors on the same server, on Ile D'Etable de Porc where they can be added to crew. Doesn't tell me WHO tried to visit, just makes the shhh-snik sound.
* Search for privateering crew - never finds crew. Often will find me a crew on opposition side, but very rare to find a crew on my side. (Gee, what Island am I standing on? ) Let's see - I was just talking to Silver about crew matching in Privateering chat - he/she said they just reset it again...still finding only an enemy privateering crew.
* Sail backwards. This is itself, impossible. Maybe if oars came out to row backwards or something...but even then, it would be a slow transition and really slow movement.
* Hyper-backwards glitch - Move your boat backwards, twice the speed that some other boat is going forward.
* Turning while stopped glitch. Fun on the very first day, but impossible in a real boat (and unthinkable in a sail boat.)
* Hyper-tacking glitch. Know someone with mastered sailing who is proud of their tacking passive skill rank? Watch them turn purple when you start turning faster than they can, even when they do a COME ABOUT. Caution: you will hear them using profane language like a real sailor (not safe for Disney terms of service!)
* Sail Invisibility glitch. Have a friend shoot off your sails. Repair them. Your sails are now invisible to everyone else.
* Full invisible glitch - ship is completely invisible. Boat name appears above space where boat should be, but isn't.
* Compass invisible glitch - ship can be seen, but not on compass. Such boats are also invulnerable.
* Ship teleportation glitch - hop from one side of the compass to the other. Shoot victim from both sides - if you are lucky, they will be on cannon and see you first on one side, then on the other.
* Land while under fire glitch - rules say you can't be under attack when you land - but who needs rules when we have glitches?
* Zero damage from broadsides glich - shoot captain dead while his broadsides are firing - if he is "OFF THE WHEEL" when the broadsides hit - zero damage.
* Zero damage from cannonballs glitch - same as above.
* Anonymity glitch - can't report BOATS that are clearly glitch masters, without somehow finding out who is driving it.
* Disappearing boats glitch - boats vanish without a trace - Can't go to that island and click on "Recent Privateers" roster or anything...just gone.
* Grenades work in SvS glitch - no cutlass, no pistol, no voodoo doll, but grenades do? Not siege charge mind you, but regular grenades? Nice.
* Boats can launch on busy servers without full crew, while others just wait.
* Boat launches aren't even FIFO (first in line, first out to sea.)
* Crew matching isn't automatically turned on for each ship, when launched with less than a full crew.
* Crew matches are not YES/NO approved by the crew head.
* Visits from crew members, friends and guild members are not YES/NO approved by the ship's captain.
* Quadruple repair glitch / Infinite repair glitch (repair much faster than a frigate can harm you.)

Because you have to know about all of these glitches just for the most simplistic survival on SvS, it means the SvS is more about knowing the glitches than about playing the game. I've gone too far down that path already, thank you very much. It just isn't fun...and not what the game is about, in the first place.

I'm sad. Every time I get a little hope that the game might work with some particular settings or configuration changes, information surfaces about another glitch the Spanish have been using all week, or I see evidence of another glitch that isn't as widely known, yet. Enough already. Only the bad guys - the cheaters - can win on Pirates Online. One out of five voyages being OK is not OK overall.