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Old 06-13-2010, 06:12 AM
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Crestshot Crestshot is offline
Stand for Silence
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Royal Anchor
Posts: 1,776
My Mood: Hakuna_Matata
Crestshot is a buccaneerCrestshot is a buccaneer
Once again, Keeper, you leave the reader hanging, waiting and wishing for the next part. The way you continued the cliffhanger from the last part of this story was different, but good. Now, using imagery is one thing, but being able to use sound is another. When you use the simple Thunk or Drip, drop, it brings the reader even further into a story, bringing a whole new dimension to it. I believe that it is well written, but it is a bit confusing. I had to read it a few times to get the full message of it. Still, though, I am anxiously awaiting the next part! Good job Keeper!