[Bartholomew Foulsteel]

Once upon a time, in a tomato shaped house, far away from grandma's brewery, there lived seventeen little orphans who cooked stew for themselves. However, grandma got sunk. The orphans had to gather honey for the rolls. However, three decided to let a bee sting one fat orphan. Unfortunately, "fatty" or his other name, "fatso" couldn't help collect the honey they needed for the rolls anymore, so he got to stay home, and let the other orphans collect the honey. Meanwhile the sunken rowboat was repaired. The day one strange thing washed ashore, GRANDMA yelled "DAGNAMIT I lost my tester for pirate guild leaders! Now foolish bilgerats get chocolate kraken eggs stuffed with rancid pig! Now!" Go make Gunner stew with plenty of rum and navyswine! She ate all noobs Twinkies in pirate clothing and pickled a peck of EITC pepper!. Then she yelled "HEY, CHICKEN! Didn't Scary Mary ever have rum? We need to get some awesome Grog Boots for that scurvy seadog, Pee-Wee!" But, Davy drank all rum barrels and got intoxicated. Meanwhile a ship captain's collection was lost at Jack's Poker Game and Jack was sorry because intoxication was inevitable. Rum was running low, and the Kraken was right next to a