Delete
 

Delete, not writing anymore

I'm glad its Chapter One...and means more is coming...so sad for Bart and Sara. Can't wait to see how those two fare...

What a sorrow... for Constance. By the way, it may be minor, but you said, Her eyes filled up with tears, as 'the' always had.

It's a fair story, but by the time you've reached chapter ten, I hope you've added on to their characters. What I mean to say is, show us their personalities. By the end of this, we should be able to think, 'Well, since I know this about her, she'll probably react this way...'. Of course, that means that straying from the beaten path will surprise your readers all the more.

Oh, you'll see a LOT more character throughout the story. I am going to start the new chapter now, and thank you for the mishap, I forgot to finish my sentence -_-

BUMP! Chapter to be finished soon