How do you handle unwanted friend requests?
 

When your pirate is high leveled, you would tend to get a lot of friend requests from people who like you just because your good, I've been getting a lot lately and I don't like it when I accept everyone but I don't want to look like a jerk if I decline. And I can't use the "saving room for guildmates" excuse. :(

It's just annoying because if I leave them on my list, they would either take all my enemies, try to take over my ship, or shoot at everything in sight. Sometimes when I leave them there they ask to join my guild, I say yes. And that means I can't kick them off my list. :(

I would just like your opinion and feedback.

I get about three friend requests within the first three seconds of logging on. It's truely annoying.

I'm not really concerned about hurting anyones feelings anymore. If I haven't "met" you here on the forums, or if I haven't played with you in game (and like your style), then sorry, I'm either flat out saying no, or clicking on that little "x" in the request box.

Don't feel like a jerk for declining Admiral, those that request you to be their friends just because of your pirates level should feel like the jerks.

Yeah that makes perfect sense, thanks a lot! :)

Yeah if they don't even bother getting to know you, I hit that NO button.

There's even a game tip Disney has that is the most broken.

Pirate Rule #1: Choose your friends wisely!

Ive told many "Wow, u want to be my friend yet you dont even say hi?!?"

I don't even acknowlage their existance. I have to team up with someone or know them to make friends. Even still, I'm on a one strike you're out rule, you screw off on my ship and take the helm without permission, and I got one more open friend spot on my list.

I know right! That should make them stop and think before inviting just ANYONE!

Disney should find a way to enforce that tip.

Yeah that's one of the main things that ticks me off with other players. Those kinds of people shouldn't be acknowleged.

This is exactly how I handle friend requests...If someone just comes up to me and hits the friend button...NO...Declined. Don't worry about coming off as a mean person. 99% of the time you wont see that person again. Choosing friend's wisely is the number one overlooked rule in POTCO.

Um, say no? You are not going to come off as a jerk for saying no..its just how it is. You have LIMITED space so why add people you don't know or want to that list?

I often get friend requests from people although I'm level 11 which I decline because simply, they haven't said a word to me!

Normally, I decline. If they keep pestering me, I accept, but make note of the name and then drop them after they go away (or I do).

I just hit that "NO" button.

I was in Kingshead, and this group of lower levels tried to horn in on my parade ground action.

(As a side note, it's one thing when someone who is capable of holding the parade ground does that, but it's a whole 'nother level of annoying when it's someone that has no chance and just wants to leech xp. Anyway.)

So I'm trying to persuade them to leave by just not attacking, and they try to force the issue by attacking the group themselves. A couple of the stragglers start in on me, so I hit the exit. I could kill them, but I was really annoyed.

So I'm standing on the dock, and the lowbies all pop out too. Then one asks me to be his friend. "NO". Then he asks me to join his guild. "NO". Then he asks me to group with them. "NO".

"y not"

"Because I don't know you, I've never grouped with you, and I've never heard of you. Why should I?"

"FINE THEN"

They all died soon after and never came back.

In ToonTown, they have an option to turn off friend requests. They really need that here too. :dancetl6:

--Cement

Just say no. I think some ppl ask everyone in sight, go around clicking randomly on any pirate they find, so it's not gonna hurt their feelings if you say no. Maybe eventually they'll learn to at least say hello first before they ask.

What I despise is when they keep asking you over and over again. You click on no and they ask you again. Haven't done it yet but I'm tempted to challenge them to a skirmish - especially with my lvl 37 pirate.

I want a way to kick the leechers off your boat. I had a crew of my guild pirates out on a plunder a few nights back, when their "friends" started to show up hitting anything that moved. They got us sunk.

It should be an invite request rather than just showing up on someones boat uninvited. :degen:

As for friends requests, I have started ignoring them unless I have helped them out or they helped me out. I thought I was being rude, but it sounds like I am not the only one lol :laughks2:

C'mon Disney - give us a KICK FROM BOAT button

i usually either just say no flat out or accept them and remove them later. i tend to feel bad about saying no but then i realize it's a game and they should know that.

i still feel a bit bad but i need people on my friend's list that can help me, not hurt me.

Yes, Yes, 100 times Yes!
Lots of us have been hoping that feature would be added....time to fire up some more requests to the dev's.....

I just hit the X at the top, it doesn't say "no" or "yes" to the person.

I was curious about that, because I chose this option several times as well.

Please! Give us a kick from boat button! How the heck do they get on the boat without being in the Guild or being your friend anyway? I never understood that.

They are either someone else's friend who is on the boat, or I found the other night that a noob clicked me as I was launching my boat and then came to me from there.

In our guild we are asking members to ask before just appearing on a boat. I think it is only manners. Or we announce that we are going plundering and invite any guild members.

I appreciate when people ask me "Hey, you going out sailing?" or some such, but to just appear on my ship irks me. I like what your guld does, asking if anyone wants to go.

I had a lv24 just "appear" on my ship. No one else was on but me, so I was really confused about how he got there without being a "Friend" or in our guild. The idiot was shooting at a Revenant as I was trying to get to Cuthroat to finish a quest. I let the Revenant sink us by turning away from whichever cannon he ran too. Then as we were about to lose the hull, I typed "Stay off my ship".

If you're about to sink, "return" using the map. That way, you avoid the groggy.

There is a glitch that hit's if you wait too long to "return" that allows you to stay out of jail, but any time you try to TP anywhere, it says you can't TP from jail. In other words, the game "sees you" as "in jail" even though you never actually went to jail or got groggy. It was worth it to me to aggravate the stowaway with going to jail.

Why would you worry about lookin like a jerk when you don't accept someone's invitation. We're BLOODY PIRATES for goodness sake. We're SUPPOSED to be mean.

I wish there was the option to disable friend request too. In toontown that's the first thing I do when I log on.

I don't find it hard to just hit no anymore. The majority of the friend requests I get are from people that don't bother talking to me so I don't feel guilty about turning them down. But it is annoying when that window pops up blocking my view when I'm busy doing something so I would love to be able to not get the pop-ups.

I just click the X now too. Tired of friending people that jump to me all the time.

unless they speak to me 1st, i usually ignore them:laughks2:

I just click the X and move on. My friend list has only 4 people on it, and they are people who don't get their feelings hurt when I say I want to train alone.

I had to drop my guild because people were either too sensitive about you not saying hi when you're in the middle of a tough battle, or they just TP to you and start swinging on enemies without so much as a "mind if I join in?".

yes on VMK they recently added the turn off friends feature they need it here also :( but Di$ney cares about other stuff

they ask me i hit no they ask again and again and again and again i mean you dont even know me you are stalking me everywhere i go to be my friend i have said no the first 100000 times do u honestly think ill give up and say "ok" for once? geeze

what i do if i even get 1 request i ignore them >_<

"Will u be my friend?" "please friend me" "Y wont you be my friend" "Your rude" "I'm gonna report you"

Those are what I get when I try to be nice. I wish there was a /bird emote sometimes.....make the suspension worth it!

If I'm just running through an area, and they don't speak, then I just keep on running to where I was going; however, if I'm just standing around, then I'll speak.

So far, the most effective phrase I've found has been: "What would be the basis of our friendship?" That seems to send about 4 out of 5 people running in the opposite direction, without further comment.

I think it works primarily because these requests are coming from 1 of 2 types of player: those who view you as a potential asset to their play of the game, and those who still developing socially.

That first group is well aware of what their intentions are for a basis, but the minute you question them on the subject of intentionality, they'll assume the jig is up and realize they don't want to spell that basis out because it be weighted towards self-interests.

The second group is just operating under the impression that everyone else in the game is part of their shared experience of seemingly unsupervised interaction time with other human beings. In many ways, these MMOs are the cognitive equivalent of "the mall" (i.e. a general public space that is assumed to be well supervised for public safety, enough so that many parents allow their children to begin their forays into the world of unsupervised free time with their peer in these places). By adopting a more formal language structure, you are signaling yourself as outside their peer group (like a mall security guard, or an uptight store clerk), and for the most part they realize on their own that you wouldn't be much fun for them (although, they might just switch over to the first group as their initial response).

The problems start when the interactions carry more value judgments. For the most of the first group, in their minds, they offering to enter into a reciprocal relationship. By denying them "friendship," you are essentially signaling that you think that you could help them but they'd never be able to help you; people never like to be told that someone else thinks they're better than them.

For the second group, they also sometimes react negatively, but it stems from the feeling that you've deceived them because they've suddenly had to accept the reality that the virtual space is occupied by just their peer group. Still, they seem to experience a sensation much like you were hanging out at the secret clubhouse wearing a child costume, and you suddenly stepped out of that costume and revealed yourself as the enemy.

I think they see it as more like m-y-s-p-a-c-e or livejournal, where there aren't really any costs to being on someone else's friend list. So they're friending everyone in sight.

I think they're really both part of the same social phenomenon, namely a realization that we interact primarily on a cognitive level and that can transcend actual physical interactions in many cases. The big difference between them seems to be that social networking sites seem to promote a hybridizing approach, with the idea that most users will use the site to tie into their local community.

With the MMO, the expectation is that most people will not interact in the physical world, unless they did so prior to making contact within the game anyway. The social networking sites will always have their place because they promote real-world interactions by building online communities based primarily on offline interests. MMOs promote a single shared interest--the game, but they tend to dampen communication about things beyond that world.

As these MMOs progress, they are showing more and more awareness of recreating physical communication; we primates are such visual creatures that kinesics are still very important to our ability to communicate. The communication level of an MMO is weaker, mostly because these interactions will never be supported by real-life interactions that would allow for assumptions to be made in lieu of extra-linguistic communication within the virtual world.

In any case, there is always a cost to friendship where gift exchanges (including time donations) are present, and that cost is the future reciprocation of that gift exchange.

Yeah I miss the /rude emote from EverQuest.

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the distinction between ground and figure. However, the subject is interpolated into a material paradigm of context that includes culture as a paradox.

Derrida suggests the use of patriarchialist materialism to deconstruct elitist perceptions of society. It could be said that many theories concerning Marxist capitalism exist.

The futility, and hence the rubicon, of the material paradigm of context prevalent in Joyce’s Dubliners is also evident in A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man, although in a more mythopoetical sense. But any number of deappropriations concerning the common ground between art and society may be discovered.

If one examines capitalist capitalism, one is faced with a choice: either reject realism or conclude that the Constitution is responsible for capitalism, given that truth is interchangeable with language. Lacan uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote a self-sufficient reality. In a sense, the primary theme of Scuglia’s essay on postdialectic theory is the fatal flaw, and some would say the meaninglessness, of constructivist society.

“Art is part of the genre of truth,” says Baudrillard. Reicher holds that we have to choose between capitalist capitalism and the pretextual paradigm of consensus. Thus, the subject is contextualised into a that includes sexuality as a totality.

In Dubliners, Joyce affirms capitalist capitalism; in A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man he analyses realism. In a sense, Marx uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote the role of the observer as poet.

If realism holds, we have to choose between capitalist capitalism and capitalist socialism. But the premise of subcultural sublimation states that culture is used to exploit minorities.

An abundance of discourses concerning the material paradigm of context exist. However, Debord uses the term ‘capitalist capitalism’ to denote not theory, as capitalist nationalism suggests, but neotheory.

The main theme of the works of Joyce is the futility, and subsequent meaninglessness, of subtextual society. The subject is interpolated into a that includes language as a whole. But the primary theme of Finnis’s critique of realism is a pretextual totality.

If one examines the material paradigm of context, one is faced with a choice: either accept realism or conclude that the significance of the reader is deconstruction, but only if capitalist capitalism is valid. The subject is contextualised into a that includes reality as a reality. Therefore, the characteristic theme of the works of Joyce is the difference between class and society.

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the concept of capitalist culture. Marx’s analysis of capitalist capitalism holds that consciousness is capable of intent. It could be said that a number of materialisms concerning the rubicon, and eventually the economy, of submodernist sexual identity may be revealed.

Sontag promotes the use of the material paradigm of context to analyse and modify class. In a sense, the subject is interpolated into a that includes sexuality as a totality.

Marx uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote a self-justifying reality. But Lacan suggests the use of capitalist socialism to challenge the status quo.

The primary theme of Abian’s critique of realism is the bridge between society and truth. It could be said that the material paradigm of context suggests that language serves to reinforce hierarchy, given that consciousness is distinct from reality.

An abundance of discourses concerning realism exist. In a sense, the subject is contextualised into a predialectic paradigm of narrative that includes art as a whole.

The main theme of the works of Joyce is not, in fact, narrative, but neonarrative. But Sartre promotes the use of the material paradigm of context to read class.

If one examines the material paradigm of context, one is faced with a choice: either reject Lyotardist narrative or conclude that the establishment is capable of significance. The example of realism depicted in Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake emerges again in Dubliners. However, Debord’s essay on Lyotardist narrative implies that consciousness has objective value, but only if the premise of realism is invalid; otherwise, the purpose of the writer is significant form.

“Class is a legal fiction,” says Lyotard; however, according to de Selby , it is not so much class that is a legal fiction, but rather the genre, and subsequent stasis, of class. Several discourses concerning the role of the reader as observer may be found. Therefore, Sartre uses the term ‘the material paradigm of context’ to denote not narrative, as Derrida would have it, but postnarrative.

In the works of Joyce, a predominant concept is the distinction between destruction and creation. The characteristic theme of Sargeant’s model of Lyotardist narrative is the role of the poet as writer. In a sense, de Selby suggests that we have to choose between the subtextual paradigm of context and structural discourse.

Debord suggests the use of Lyotardist narrative to deconstruct class divisions. However, a number of deappropriations concerning the material paradigm of context exist.

If postcapitalist discourse holds, we have to choose between Lyotardist narrative and the semanticist paradigm of discourse. In a sense, Buxton states that the works of Spelling are empowering.

Foucault promotes the use of the material paradigm of context to modify and analyse sexual identity. It could be said that the subject is interpolated into a that includes art as a totality.

Debord suggests the use of pretextual narrative to attack outmoded, sexist perceptions of reality. Thus, Foucault’s essay on Lyotardist narrative holds that consciousness is used to oppress the proletariat, given that art is equal to reality.

The subject is contextualised into a material paradigm of context that includes art as a reality. Therefore, the fatal flaw of realism intrinsic to Spelling’s The Heights is also evident in Beverly Hills 90210, although in a more patriarchial sense.

I think some people have been doing too many psych courses at college lol

Bilge you seem WAY to educated for a pirate.

Logical part of the brain sees a reasonable discussion on the phenomenon and the effects of computers on communication and social interaction.

The gaming part of my brain is just wondering where the rum is.

While that was one of the more impressive post-modernist, ultra-materialist stream-of-consciousness reviews of 20th media that I have ever seen, you'd really need to start teasing apart a few of the separate issues you have working there before we can discuss it terms of how to deal with unwanted requests for friendhip in the game.

Since it won't tie in that well, I'd just like to say that I see the Constitution as a document written in an atmosphere of people being very excited by Adam Smith and the economic school that was taking hold in Scotland at the end of the 18th century. If we're pointing fingers at someone for touching off the kind of laissez-faire capitalism that is so romantically popular today, then my vote goes with Lorenzo di Medici and Jacob Fugger.

EDIT: To the above posters, I'm pretty sure that was just a circuitous way to suggest that my previous posts were not particularly relevant, and too pretentious. Ah well, I still say the exact phrase "What would be the basis of our friendship?" works surprisingly consistently.

Right over.......Here :)

I got it from the Postmodern Essay Generator here: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

I've always had a strong interest in text generators and natural language processing.

Why yes, I am a geek, why do you ask?

Well, since you've gone out of your way to "teach me a lesson" about being a "bad forum poster," I suppose I may as well make sure I'm getting the lesson right. So, in order to passive-aggressively call me out for being verbose and off-topic, you introduced a wall of randomly generated text which caused at least 3 people, before I saw the post, to spend time reading and responding to a post that was composed entirely of randomly generated text that had nothing to do with the thread topic.

I'm sure everyone appreciated you being casual with their time to show me what a terrible forum poster I am, but is that really a lesson that lands when presented in the "do as I say, not as I do" format?

If I get a friend request from a level 1-??? pirate I just hit the NO button and teleport outa there...LOL!:laughks2: I already have a bunch of taken spaces on my friends list, and at the moment I don't even have time for friends in POTCO.

Disney needs to make the friend requests come up in a little window like skirmishes instead of you having to sacrifice yourself to an assassin to use the manual windshield wipers.

Christopher Ironhawk
Notoriety Lv. 31
Cutlass: 21
Pistol: 11
Voodoo: Maxxed
Dagger: 10
Grenade: 7
Staff: 14
Sailing: 13
Cannon: 13

It irritates me to have these players I don't know crawl from outta no where and try to friend me. And the ship hoppers!! I hate ship-hoppers!!

I have to play with a person for a good while now in order to friend them, unless they seem like good folk, then they get friend-ed quicker.

I don't mind giving low-levels a chance. I play with them a bit, get to know them - I was a low-level myself once-upon a time, but a chance is the best you got so don't screw it up, right?

However most might have that idiot friend, so they get a free pass for that one once too.

You are absolutely right, sir. I was trying to humorously suggest that perhaps you were over analyzing, but failed.

Well, the thing is, even though I do my field primarily in archaeological contexts, my interests are more broadly anthropological. I have a real, professional interest in observing, analyzing, and attempting to explain the socio-culturally constructed rules we invent for interacting with each other.

If you'd like, then I'd be more than happy to start citing peer-reviewed literature to support my observations. You might feel that I should take my observations back to the academic community, and leave the actual game-players to just play the game.

I would suggest that if your sentiment is just that the sites that are ancillary to the game are not an appropriate venue for such discussions, then you should learn to just skip over my posts, rather than trying to set yourself up as the ultimate arbiter of what I can and cannot discuss in the open forums. If your sentiment is that my analysis is inaccurate, than I would be more than happy to present supporting information.

I don't think it takes any specialized training, or academic knowledge, to have an interest and understanding of people forming interaction rules for themselves to follow; So, for you, maybe that isn't something that lends interest to playing MMOs, but for me it is the only thing that is truly interesting. Other than that, they're just about counting mouse/keyboard clicks.

EDIT: Incidentally, I'm still sticking with my observation that formalized language and sentence structures tend to put people off; however, the reason I think it works well is because it doesn't seem like passing a value judgment against the other player's self-worth. In my opinion, the idea is to not make people think I'm saying that they're not worthy to be a friend, but to make them think it wouldn't be fun to be my friend because I'd be boring all the time.

i just tell them sorry but no. and move on been called lot of creative thing by some but it my choice not there.

I'm lvl 32 atm i can't stand it when i go onto a busy server to find a crew and hordes of people named swashbuckler or pirate come upto me and lay into me with friend requests. the worst example i had today, i was in cuthroat jungle lvling up my voodoo doll on stumps and some lvl 3 guy followed me in persistent friend requests and when i declined them it was persistent crew requests, in the end i had to switch servers, he would not leave me alone.

As to how to deal with them, i say no to basic access nearly all the time, if their high lvl and unlimited then i accept them, talk with them and if i like them keep them if i don't, remove them.