Am I crazy?

[Mr. Skiperdoo]

Some of you 'know' me, but some of you don't.

Some of this might get a bit... intense, I wouldn't know.

Ok, so recently, (about a month's time) I've been getting these obsessive thoughts about thoughts. Not just thoughts per say, but the meaning of the thoughts themselves. I feel as if the thoughts I'm sometimes thinking are not my own, even though I very well understand that this is an absurd conclusion; I don't believe it myself, but It's just something I can't get out of my head.

Whatever it is, I can't stop thinking about it. I think about things as if I were sometimes detached from reality, but I'm still self-aware that none of it is actually true. For instance, yesterday, I had some horribly scary thoughts, some of these were so intense I couldn't even understand them. I spent almost twenty minutes crying for absolutely no reason, I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel anything but afraid. I thought about all those people who had lived before me, and in the end had amounted to nothing, all those who no longer exist. And then, I felt nothing - - perfectly fine.

Come to think of it, I haven't felt ANYTHING recently, it's as if all that I'm 'feeling' has been completely separated. I'll smile at funny jokes or at people doing silly things, but I don't seem to care about anyone else's feeling whatsoever. I'll look at something and find myself staring into space until someone else says my name and goes on about how strange I am.

I've talked about this with many people I know, they say it either has something to do with possible changes in maturity or whatever, but I simply don't see it that way.

I know what I'm thinking is weird, and I know people with actual problems often don't realize that, but I'm wondering if it's something completely different or if it's something everyone goes through but in a different way.

Anyone have any idea? Thanks.

~Skippy