After 7 long years, and 6 changes in her major, the college finally decided to boot her out and gave her a pity diploma!
Congrats to JESS for your Associate degree in Basketweaving!
Now, just maybe, you can go find a real job in a wicker factory and then you'll stop asking for $5 and Gum and decals for your rocket ship.
OK, not everything above is the truth.
Congrats to Jess for graduating college and her Bachelor's Degree in Business.
It didn't really take her 7 years, either. And it wasn't a pity degree. (I don't think.)
(But the $5, gum, and decals for the rocket ship are still a pain.)