The Boss Battle, Revisited

[Bartholomew Foulsteel]

Ahoy mates! Allow me to regale ye with a tale of bravery and hair-brainedness the likes of which ye never have heard before....

The Krewe met bright and early this morning for our monthly Boss Battle. In attendance were Combat Lizzy, Jack Badskull, Jade Dreadbones, Kat DeFever, Bartholomew Bladeroberts, and yours truly.

As one would expect, the Krewe easily (too easily?) took back the Pearl, iteration after iteration. Ye see mates, it appears the Boss Battle has been nerfed quite a bit, and the challenge it once were it is no more. Now, one could argue that due to the exceptionally high notoriety of the pirates involved that THAT could make it seem to be so nerfed. But I do not believe that is the case.

Poor Lizzy were green in the gills and did leave us after the third battle. And Blade was having some overheating issues and also left. However, that still left Kat, Jade, jack and I. And a challenge was what we were up for. And a challenge is what I intended to give them!

So for our fourth and final Boss Battle, we had the following rules:

• Blades only against the Navy swine
• Round shot only for ships and towers (yes, that includes the Goliath)
• NO special skills (Take Cover, Open Fire, Ramming Speed, etc.)

Now, the Krewe indeed fought valorously. The Navy were whittled down as if so much balsa. The Light Frigates sunk with a glorious sinking sound. And the towers? Well, by the time we were approaching the last set, the Pearl were in the red! But down they went, and next were the Goliath!

So, loaded with round shot, we sailed out the channel to meet our fate. Knowing of the Goliaths EIGHTEEN GUNS (riiiiiiight), we were prepared for the mighty (nerf Navy vessel.

With some fabulously tactical maneuvering, the Pearl was able to avoid the onslought of those EIGHTEEN GUNS (riiiiiiight), and slowly whittled away the hull of the Goliath with salvo after salvo of pure unadulterated round shot. With a terrible crash and glub glub sound, the mighty EIGHTEEN GUN (riiiiiiiiight) warship sunk beneath the waves, never to be seen again until the next time we do a Boss Battle.

For their bravery and foolishness, Jack, Jade, and Kat were all awarded the Krewe Commendation! Three cheers for the gunners of this goofy mission!

Great job mates. And thanks for the laughs!