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Old A New Year, An Old Captain

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  #1  
Old 12-31-2012, 06:55 PM
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A New Year, An Old Captain

Ahoy mates

This post is largely something personal to myself, but I hope you can take away from it what I may as well.

I walked in to this year not truly knowing what to expect. It's easy to say that the person who walked in is not the same person who is walking out, in many respects. Many of the things I said, did, and accomplished this year I had not even imagined of doing the year before, many of which make me feel a variety of emotions; proud, saddened, ashamed, angry, and happy.

I remember a time not very long ago where my life was much more simple. There was no need to shroud myself, or hide, or change who I was; there was no need for me to move beyond the lands I was comfortable in, turn my back on or show malice towards others, or be skeptical or critical. As you get older and more exposed, even to the best and more patient of us, it becomes harder tor resist these changes. Many of you have not been able to see these first hand, and perhaps that was for the best.

But in this New Year, my resolution is not to just go forward, it's to go back. Sometimes when we need to change for the better, we need to look back at what we once were instead of who we've become now. And even though today I am much more open, wise, experienced, mature, and tough, there are some things that I forgot over the course of this year. And because of that, I feel like my world has become darker - it's hard to explain it, but the tone of my life has dimmed, the light has been sucked out of it, and I'm forced to live day by day going through what I have and trying to fight through it. Every day has become a trial for me, which I've had a hard time admitting to anybody. It's foreign for me to have been feeling this way, but I've felt like it for a while now. I refuse, in this new year, to live my life as an oddity.

Truth be told, I'm not sure how I will accomplish getting rid of this cloud. It could be clinical, it could be subconscious, or it could be something that even now I do not want to face, whether unaware of it or finding it an impossible challenge. But one thing is evident - if my life is to be as bright, as great, and as grand as it had been, then I must go back and find the person that I've been looking for.

His name is Delmaria Darkskull. He, for me, has stood as something much more than just a character - he is another half of me, a half that I have been neglecting. He symbolizes courage, kindness, prose, understanding, wisdom, and above all else, not letting your fears or others overcome you, and not letting others define who or what you are. I made Delmaria out to be the person who I wanted to be, and now, years after the fact, I am closer than ever to being somebody that I created for myself.

In the next year ahead, as we face only more challenges and experiences, I think we all need a little of Delmaria inside all of us.

Especially, the person who made him.

~ Del
  #2  
Old 01-01-2013, 02:26 AM
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Rannulf Rannulf is offline
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I hear ye my old friend. Life is a series of twists and turn, or for us pirates, smooth sailing interrupted by battle and stormy seas! Just remember there is always a calm before ...........and after a storm.

Sounds as if the storm is coming to pass, grab the helm and prepare to sail in the calm after!

PM me if ye need to scuttlebutt with an old shipmate!

Fair winds, following seas my old friend.
  #3  
Old 01-02-2013, 02:07 AM
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Great to hear from you again Del. Like Rannulf said, soon the rough waters will pass and you can sail into the calm.

Thanks for being a great captain through all these years. I hope to see you again soon!
  #4  
Old 01-03-2013, 08:56 PM
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I agree with everyone else except for the rough waters part. It's supposed to be rough waters with gas in them! Thanks for being our cap'n, Del.

Tia told me, "When da time comes, you shall meet again and da process will repeat."
 

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