It's a fairly simple question. How do you feel? Right now, about POTCO. About what it is, has become, and is becoming. A lot has happened in the past year that has changed it, and a lot has happened that has changed most of us. Some of us still sail the waters with friends; some of us sail with little more than a quiet wind to guide our sails as we pillage what is left of our seas; some of us have folded our sails for good. Regardless, what is your feeling right now, towards this game and its position? Are you satisfied, hopeful, optimistic, pessimistic, sad, angry, ambivalent, annoyed, or some mix of any of these?
The reason I am posting this is because I went online today. Some of you may have seen me drift in from time to time. I don't know why I keep coming back to a game I no longer play anymore. It seems that I have become almost a ghost. Perhaps I continue to come back because I have left something unfinished in the game (...well, I never did finish upgrading any of my ships...). Perhaps I have left something in the game that I just cannot do without, and I need to find it. Maybe it is a piece of my identity that is locked in this game forever, and I am cursed (or perhaps blessed) to haunt the Caribbean, looking for something that I may never find. Perhaps I am simply eternally tied to this game and the people of this forum, and I cannot leave it without losing part of my identity.
I continue to feel like a ghost that haunts this forum and the game, not being noticed by many and not making much of an impact. My time is up, and I think I know it. I doubt that I will ever put on my French Tricorne and stand behind the mast of the Shadow King in this game again. But there is a reason that I still stay behind and dwell in a place in which I have little place.
I talked to a friend of mine when I came on today. I have known her in game for probably four, maybe even five years. Every time I come online, she is there and she always greets me. I am truly thankful for that. Today I told her I don't even know why I come online anymore. Her response was this: That I am waiting for something. A spark. Something to give me hope.
Hope.
And it was then I knew why I kept coming back, why I continue to wait and watch, to check these forums every single day (yes, I still come here every single day, although I don't always sign in). I still have hope. I am waiting for a sign. Something, anything to tell me that the game is moving for the better. That the good days of old are coming back, or at least that the dark clouds that cover us all now may be clearing. That the stormy seas that are out there may become calm until we all once again light them ablaze with the peppering of our cannon fire. That the POTCO team will show us a sign, anything, that there is indeed a future for this game. That there are signs for the better. It doesn't need to be much. Even a simple post by the POTCO team that shows that they have indeed been doing something and that the game's downhill plunge that may eventually lead it to its own crash is slowing and stopping.
That is why I still stay here. That I haunt the game like a ghost. I still have hope that something will happen, and until something improves for the better, I don't believe that I will be able to "rest in peace."
Back to my original question, though. How do you feel about the game? Where do you think it is going? These are critical times, and I think we all know that regardless of what we feel.
I should now answer my own question. The answer is that I feel sad. Sad that the game I love is so...
different from how it used to be. Sad that I know I probably can never return to the game and play it as I used to. Sad that all that is left for me in the Caribbean is the ghost of my past. Sad that seem to have become nothing more than a ghost myself.
Yet, this ghost feels hopeful as well. There isn't very much, but there is always just a drop of hope somewhere in me. Hope that one day, I will be satisfied enough to anchor my ships, sheathe my sword, and take off my tricorne without needing to take them back up unless I plan to for good.
So, what about all of you?
Quote:
O [Caribbean], [Caribbean]!
- (Variation of) Macbeth, Act 4 Scene 3 Line 103
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